Jealousy: a fun past-time, but it doesn't get you anywhere

Emma Watson has apparently been bullied out of Brown University. She said on her Twitter account a while back that she would have to take some time off college to finish up acting commitments, but sources are saying that isn't the full story. Allegedly she was getting so much shit for Harry Potter stuff that she decided to pack it in.

This is seriously pas cool. She is one of the richest kids in the world, but she must be pretty normal to decide to get an education, too. Everyone needs a Plan B. And she was studying Drama, which, you know, isn't a bad idea if she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life known as Hermione Granger.

But some massive DICKS over in Rhode Island have totally overlooked this point and have managed to harass her out of college. When their parents were splashing out on their Ivy League education, they clearly forgot to buy them some manners. This whole bullying fiasco is only made worse by the fact that Harvard students were involved. That's right, the leaders of tomorrow (and douches of next week) decided to pick on her at a college football game- with Harry Potter taunts. Come on now, your meant to be super intelligent- either up your insult game or don't say anything at all.

Still, Emma's a trooper, and she put up with it during the whole game (which is probably like 2 hours, but I've watched football, it feels like a fucking lifetime).

I love my celebrities, I really do, but I would hope that I could understand that if someone wants to take some time off to get on with their life, I should respect that. Now, if a lowly Perez reader like myself can understand that, surely Economist-subscribing, scholarship-winning, future-Wall-Street-Journal-contributing Ivy League assholes can too.

Your better off at NYU, Emma, I hear the Olsen twins had a great time there.

(PS- don't you totally get the 'She's-so-beautiful-fuss' from that picture?! She looks 'mazing!)

Dear Brian Mc Fadden:

It takes a lot to offend my ears, but I must congratulate you, Sir, for you have succeeded. Listen to the travesty that follows at your peril.

Now, to answer your questions, yes, that is a banjo you hear, and yes, he is saying 'I can't wait to get you home so I can take advantage'. No, I have no idea who told him he should rap on this record, but if I did, I don't know whether I would slap them, or say congratulations.

To be fair, Brian's music isn't as terrible as this song would lead you to believe. When I was in Sydney last year, this little ditty was number 1, and it's quite catchy:

IiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis

Bitter much?

I love Solange Knowles. She may be my favourite Knowles sister, and not just because she shaved her head and is most likely omni-baked, but because she is uber-talented:



However, Solange doesn't seem to be that pleased that no-one else likes her just as much as I do. In fact, if this song is anything to go by, it looks like she's a tad bitter:



C'mon Solange, nobody likes a baldy sour-bake.

PS: does anyone else think T.O.N.Y is about the demon weed?

Cringe

I was watching the Little Mermaid with some friends during the week (as mature, intelligent Masters students have been known to do, in between in depth conversations about controversial world issues and dancing on tables), and this shocker appeared at the end.



Oh, Ashley, this is horrific! You should have read the small print on that Disney contract- the part where it asked you for your soul.