Um...

What the hell is that on your head?! I just don't get it. Head jewelleryn in general just upsets me. Unless you are the princess of an actual country (the E! Channel does not qualify as a country, obviously) you should not decorate your skull.

I know. I'm just jealous. I wish I looked like Kim Kardashian-Humphries.

Jealousy: a fun past-time, but it doesn't get you anywhere

Emma Watson has apparently been bullied out of Brown University. She said on her Twitter account a while back that she would have to take some time off college to finish up acting commitments, but sources are saying that isn't the full story. Allegedly she was getting so much shit for Harry Potter stuff that she decided to pack it in.

This is seriously pas cool. She is one of the richest kids in the world, but she must be pretty normal to decide to get an education, too. Everyone needs a Plan B. And she was studying Drama, which, you know, isn't a bad idea if she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life known as Hermione Granger.

But some massive DICKS over in Rhode Island have totally overlooked this point and have managed to harass her out of college. When their parents were splashing out on their Ivy League education, they clearly forgot to buy them some manners. This whole bullying fiasco is only made worse by the fact that Harvard students were involved. That's right, the leaders of tomorrow (and douches of next week) decided to pick on her at a college football game- with Harry Potter taunts. Come on now, your meant to be super intelligent- either up your insult game or don't say anything at all.

Still, Emma's a trooper, and she put up with it during the whole game (which is probably like 2 hours, but I've watched football, it feels like a fucking lifetime).

I love my celebrities, I really do, but I would hope that I could understand that if someone wants to take some time off to get on with their life, I should respect that. Now, if a lowly Perez reader like myself can understand that, surely Economist-subscribing, scholarship-winning, future-Wall-Street-Journal-contributing Ivy League assholes can too.

Your better off at NYU, Emma, I hear the Olsen twins had a great time there.

(PS- don't you totally get the 'She's-so-beautiful-fuss' from that picture?! She looks 'mazing!)

Speechless

If God can give me a Girls Aloud reunion and a Take-That-the-end-is-nigh video, then surely he can give 1 millionth of her beauty.

Please?

Put 'Em Away, Love

Leona Lewis is so boring that she can't even make herself look like a common trollop. She has clearly tried to do everything in power to look sexy and edgy, but I'm still bored.

I also really don't get the point of this crop top. Granted this is probably because I have never and will never be able to wear one, but it is also because that skirt is just sooooooooo high. And sooooooo long. So(ooooooo) why didn't she just join them together and take the hem up a bit?

Oh right, because it still wouldn't have made her interesting.

God dislikes me- and womankind

The reason I say this is because the stunner above is actually a boy. God makes boys that are better girls than some girls are (and by 'some girls' I mean me), or at least the good people at Jean Paul Gautier seem to think so.

I just have some points on this. Now, I can understand how make up can transform a person in many ways, but how in the world does this boy give the illusion of having hips?! And he has a teeny waist- look at how small it is, it's fascinating! And secondly, while I fully understand the place that androgyny has on the catwalk and in fashion, does it perhaps send out a bad message to use a model that is that under-developed in the boob region? I totally support this move in the industry, but because fashion is plagued by talk of eating disorders and bad influences, maybe designers need to tred carefully here.

Anywho, the model's name is Andrej Pejic, and he models both men's and women's ranges. Now, that's talent.

Sometimes life isn't fair

Be still my beating heart. My favourite former-Hooters girl looks beautiful in this Christoforos Kotentos dress (does it sound like I know who he is? Because I really don't). I really like it, although I'm sure I've seen my granny wear they square-patterned bit as a scarf, around her head, in Mass.

How does she hide her fringe when she is Santana? Just something to ponder while I do nothing else today.

This year's best dress was....

...this absolute beauty. Now, I can't claim to know much about fashion (having once teamed denim platform ankle boots with Le Coq Sportif tracksuit bottoms- I so wish that was a joke), but I don't think I would be wrong to say that Marion Cotillard consistently looks impeccable- with the help of Dior. How is it possible for one woman to be so beautiful? Also, I like shiny things, like a clothes-magpie.

Now, while on the subject of Lady Marion and Dior, I have to ask, what is this about:



Is she a hooker? Is she like a showgirl-lady-Jesus who can make lame men walk and knackers paint? And the young guy in it is Russell Tovey, best known (probably) for his roles in the History Boys and BBC 3's Him and Her. So, how the fuck did he bag this job?! I don't think he's bad, just that he is a bit of a random choice. But what do I know- I own green knee high boots.